At this stage there is no forgiveness at all – there is only judgement. You constantly judge your Brothers and then you “forgive” them – given they follow your conditions.
We could also call this “ego forgiveness”. The ego feels powerful if it can look down on a Brother and “forgive” him, with understanding that he will soon sin again, be condemned, and guilt will force him to return for more.
You realize that temporal forgiveness is not real – and when conditions are given, you can be sure enough they will be broken. So you try to truly let go of judging your Brother, but you forget.
This is a period of increasing conflict, because you do not want to follow ego’s path no more, but you still do. You turn between two opposites, and don’t accept just yet that one of them is not real.
This is an important stage and you will persevere. You’ll make mistakes, but every time you’ll choose again. And very soon the ego won’t be something you’ll ever look upon again.
True Forgiveness is, simply, lack of judgement. You cannot condemn a Brother and then truly forgive him. You grant True Forgiveness to each one through overlooking ego. You’ll see nothing but Light of God and there will be nothing you could judge.
You realized that rather than trying to be “right”, following the path of the ego, you’d rather have peace.
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