Spiritual Advance

Love holds no grievances

Tag: Mistake

In Pain

I dreamed of killing raging God,
And then I dreamed that I’m awake –
From dream to dream illusions brought
The pain – the proof of my mistake.

The sweetest pain, along with time,
The strongest witness against God!
Proving existence of the crime,
Reward, for which I’ve always fought!

Excruciating beyond hell,
Constant companion of mine,
Intoxicates the bloody smell –
I am in pain through my design!

I slit my veins, with drops of blood
Draw tiny circle around me –
A place where God will enter not –
To be in pain, or not to be?


The Moment of Temptation

As I go now about this task
I do condemn myself to death
In blinding rage on put the mask,
And I believe that it’s this breath –

This is my life, this body’s me,
I’m mortal shell about to die!
Still praying of not letting be
True nature, purpose, love of mine.

And I am raising against God,
Thinking my will can conquer His,
For eons I this battle fought
I laugh at very thought of peace!

It’s such a shame I am so lost,
Yet there is always choice to make:
This pain accepting as my cost,
Or to wake up from my mistake.

Second revision


Based on ACIM workbook lesson 6:
I am upset because I see something that is not there

O, how much longer suffering will last?
Day after day I am in pain severe
And through the future, in the past
The pain is always with me, always near.

At times like these I am unable seeing straight
I am so wrecked, forgetting all I learn
And all I see in you is anger, hate,
And seeing thus in hell I burn.

But time does heal, and so I wait –
The ones who’re cursed with ego self
Need time to heal the burning hate,
Need time to end this endless hell.

And so I wait, and so I learn –
I look at you and try to find
What did I find in you to mourn?
How did I see in day the night?

I am upset because I saw the lies
I looked at you, but found still burning hate
Through seeing thus my pure Self but dies
Through misperceiving I’m determining my fate.

Through seeing pain I am myself in pain –
I find in you what is in me.
Through making up the lies, I’m lost again –
Not seeing light in you, I cannot truly see.

My friend, be wise, learn from you see in me:
At times I’m lost, do not be fooled by that.
When I am lost in hate, I pray the hate you do not see,
Do learn from all mistakes I’ve made.

When I’m in pain, do not perceive the pain
But please remind me of the Truth
I need to learn, I need to hear again
Of teaching pure, pure use.

Oh yes, I hear you say: “Now wait,
You’re teaching me when you are lost yourself
Trying to show me love, I see your hate
You dare speaking of pure Self?”

Alas, this is mistake so easily have made,
But truly, there’s no hate in me.
Looking at me and seeing anguished hate
You have just destined this pure hate to be.

You are the master of this dream,
You will decide how you perceive –
By seeing you will love create or sin
And then yourself will this receive

I know the Truth, but knowing’s not enough
I’m learning still remembering to see
Each day much better I can see your love
But you can learn much faster, watching me.

Do you still hope to find salvation by yourself?
Do you still think that you’re apart from me?
We’re always one, even in seeming hell –
Before it ends, we must learn each as one to see.

And each mistake I’ve ever made
You have repeated at some time.
Each time you see in me the hate
It but reflects your own unreal crime.

The Foolish Meaning

Based on workbook lesson 3:
I do not understand anything

The meaning you’ve assigned to every thing
Is but a tool of hate in ego’s eyes
It uses reason, and through it lies without a wink
And traps you in the dream through its own lies.

Each thing in this world is the same
As any other, or your body too
Each thing’s designed to hide the shame
And hide the means which can the sin undo.

You “see” with body’s eyes, and seeing thus you think
That all the things you see are true and real,
And you believe that meaning of these things does bring
The happiness you’ve lost, but strive to feel.

Do you think not, that it is but insane
To judge as real what dies with passing time?
Do you remember happiness you feigned?
Each moment of your life, each feeling, crime,

That you experienced through your fleeting life
Seem real, while being only in your mind,
Yet you refuse to stop this pointless strife,
In time still happiness trying to find.

Your eyes have not been made to truly see,
Your brain is not designed to think,
Your eyes were made to not let Truth to be,
And all your thoughts’re forgotten in a blink.

Forgive your pointless judgments of this world,
Refuse to take what ego lets you choose,
Forget the sins that ego to you taught,
And then you will accept the real Truth.

The Hunt

Based on Workbook Lesson 2:
I have given this all the meaning

The crowd:
“We’ve finally found it, wicked beast,
That we’ve been hunting for since birth.
It’s time for hate to be released
And end our eternal dearth –

Of peace, of worldly goods and things
That we are striving for, and yet
The beast creates all our sins
And feasts on sins we can’t forget,

Nor can forgive – they’re great indeed!
Created by the Satan’s lore,
Whom with our sins we nurse and feed –
But this can’t go on anymore!

The suffering is greater much,
Than fleeting high we feel at times –
It’s giving us our only crutch,
But then condemning us of crimes!

It dies now – we are on our own
And all the pleasures of this world
Then will be left for us alone
And our new life will unfold”.

The beast:
“Each sin in humans I perceive

I’ve made myself – all go to hell!
They will my suffering receive,
All are condemned in pain to dwell!

I am creator of the sin,
I am the one who’s made the hate,
So let the suffering begin –
All tools of torture I have made!

The way I still perceive myself,
As wretched demon, spawn of hell,
The way I plan to kill their Self…
But, wait – I think I hear the bell! –

They’re finally coming after me,
Trying to hunt the evil pure –
Such fools! – incapable to see:
The force, the fight my strength ensure!

For eons, I have ruled the world
My own creation, where I’m god!
Desires, thoughts and sins unfold
In every sinner – all are flawed!

How do they hope to kill what rules?
No one can live when I am dead!
Their lives are worthless – wicked fools,
How will they fight, when me they dread?

I cannot look but with disgust
At my own subjects insecure,
Sin is my own – they pay the cost
Damned all who’re caught in my allure!

They’re fools, but death I must delay –
There’s more control I’m striving for,
A tempting plan for them I’ll lay
Confusing them with my own lore.

As crowd has made its way up to the tower
Their rage and hatred grew, much more increased,
With hope approached, to bring about the hour,
To bring about demise of their own beast,

Of their creation, spawn of hell which feeds
On anger, rising in the crowd with force –
But fight of fire with fire nowhere leads –
Crowd’s hatred, pain and beast have the same source.

The crowd:
“Bring on the ram, break down the doors!
Let torches light up the whole tower!
Where wicked beast our pain prolongs,
Laying its plans for our devour!

Let’s force it out with smoke of rage,
With hatred bringing it to knees,
And lock it, bar it into cage
Where it can’t spread its own disease.

But look! – The beast leaves its own spire!
Ends here our quest of death so dire –
For long we grew such grave desire
Of our revenge – set beast on fire!”.

“No, we should wait, and let it speak –
Before it dies, let’s hear its words,
In fear it seems so lost and meek –
For now let’s lay aside our swords”.

The beast:
“My subjects, look, open your eyes!

The meaning of your lives is me!
Without me you are doomed, world dies!
Open your eyes – I’ll make you see!

This life seems difficult at times,
But the rewards you get from me!
And even when committing crimes,
Being merciful, I let you be.

The world you cherish is my own,
And yet I share it with you all
For who did put me on the throne,
After you’ve suffered your own fall?

I am protection from God’s wrath!
I am the mirror of your sins!
I am your ego, and our path
Holds us together, ‘ever clings”.

Thus ego spoke, and spoke at length,
While being vile, it’s just as sly,
Depends on blinded eyes its wicked strength,
But anger brings such blindness to one’s eye.

The hatred, guilt, shame, lust, desire,
The struggle, anxious search for one’s own peace,
Can’t lead to peace, but strengthen fire
With fuel of one’s own mental disease.

And so the tale of wicked sin goes on,
And all this meaning we’ve assigned ourselves
To worldly things we’re given on a loan –
Such meaning which corrupts us, overwhelms.

As long as we are willing to exchange
Our very Self and our own peaceful Truth
For ego’s wicked lies, made to derange,
The ego will continue its abuse.

Stumbling on my Path

Based on Workbook lesson 1:
“Nothing I see here means anything”

Alone I have been stumbling on my path –
Through sin and errors I have always made,
A tale of wicked sin a man learns thus –
Through trusting in wrong hands his holy fate.
Where have I been, in places so revolving,
That I have lost my pure will resolving?

And tales of wicked sin indeed I saw
Through putting all my trust in wicked deeds,
Through trusting my own life in ego’s lore
I suffered thus, my heart with pain still bleeds.
And through all things I see, I am condemned,
With lies of world so vile I’m overwhelmed.

Each body or a thing through hate I find
Is seen in blinded eyes as pure salvation’s hand,
The meaning I assign is in my mind
And through investing my whole Self in it, I’m damned.
What meaning did I put in all these things?
Invested into lies, I see the dreams.

Forgiving each and every sin is only path!
Before I can return where I belong,
I must undo the meaning I’ve assigned, and thus
The journey of this world will not take long.
The judgment of all things my eyes did see
Must be undone, before I let my Self to be.

Sonnets of Love: The Love in Me

I know it well, it is the first time not
When I’ve been tempted, made mistakes and so
I just go on, knowing  my path is true,
And don’t look back, on my path towards God,
And just enjoy the ever growing glow
Of love in me, which always includes you.

Crusaders of the Truth

In these tough times of darkness so obscure
We need protection from imagined sin,
We are to follow those only who matured,
We’re not allowed to look for truth within.

Crusaders of the Truth will show the way:
They will attack the sinners of this world
Who dare through wicked teaching lead astray
The sheep who blindly follow what they’re told.

Crusaders of the Truth won’t rest in peace
Till every sinner of the world’s exposed,
Their Holy mission – showing where Truth is,
Stomping to dust the ones who Truth oppose.

But in these times, which are indeed obscure,
Crusaders of the Truth themselves’re opposed.
In times when even teachers’re insecure,
In times when Son of God can be so loathed,

In these dark times the flock must guided be
By Voice of God – Martyrs of Teaching Pure,
Who won’t allow the lies of sin to be,
Protecting from Crusaders’ sly allure.

And so they fight, and viciously at that,
And flock has been forgotten long ago,
Neither Crusaders, nor Martyrs will let
To halt the growth of egos – so they grow.

How much importance are we to assign,
To understanding not our “holy” ways?
Are we too blind to see so clear a sign
That it’s our fight, which ego stronger makes?

Are they important so, ways of this world,
That we will kill our Self in name of them?
We’re deaf to Voice, which to us clearly told –
We’re not to slaughter God’s innocent lamb.

No matter! Voice of God does grow so dim,
Crusaders of the Truth are fighting on
With such persistence, gruesome and so grim,
Until the last mistake (judge they) is gone.

Indeed, the Voice is dim, the truth’s obscure –
Martyrs of Holy Light will fight the same,
For only they hold teaching true and pure,
And so they teach – through anger, hate and shame.

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