Spiritual Advance

Love holds no grievances

Tag: Ego (Page 1 of 2)

A Thrall

It is indeed a miracle
That with such little faith
And all the judgments typical
You constantly embrace

You’re still remain unchangeable
Beyond the worldly strives –
In ways to you intangible
Soul unaffected lies.

And through the constant challenges
You’re facing in your life
Forgotten is your happiness –
You battle, fight and strive!

What’s use blaming the circumstance
Has when you don’t control
Your own forgotten commonsense? –
Your mind holds you a thrall.

Anthropomorphic god

Anthropomorphic god
In my domain
Lives by my rules.

What came he here to do?
Why come to me
Amongst all fools?

Am I a prophet now,
To hear the voice
Unheard to all?

Or from my wits exiled –
Long lost my mind
During the fall.

I tried to understand
How to break free –
All was in vain!

Until I saw the light
Dim and obscure
Beyond the pain.


Thin, ghastly ghost of god
Has been exiled –
I’m all alone.

What’s left is lost to lies –
Myself defiled,
I turn to stone.

Cavern

The cavern – hidden in the dark,
Abode of death – not seen in light,
And only desperate fools embark
On search of cavern in the night.

The fireflies of sin will spark
Luring the travelers away
Foolish enough to walk in dark,
To wander off the well-lit way.

So many souls thus have been lost,
All kept alive: with eyes cut out,
With deafened ears by their host
And tongues severed – they will not shout.

All tied in cavern under hill:
Some fight the pain, but most – asleep,
Dreaming of torture, losing will,
With sightless eyes that cannot weep.

Failed Again

Will I be ever understood?
Trying to share with fellow men
Thoughts nourished in the pensive mood,
I realize – I failed again.

Yet can they ever hope themselves
To share the news of darkest day,
Relax the curse of private hell,
And hope another sees their way?

Yes – hope they can, and hope they will!
In blurry fantasies they might
Perceive that someone will fulfill
The role of savior in their sight.

“Hell’s other people” one might say,
And while he lives another day
And sees the bodies born and die
His “truth” I hardly can deny.

The Cave

Five man tied tightly in one place
In darkest cave, in front of wall
With shadows lurking which they face –
What was before? – They don’t recall.

One man is me, the other – you,
The third is God, and fourth – His Son.
The fifth is Lucifer, he knew:
When all are tied, the Truth’s undone.

You have escaped – God knows not how!
Now you have seen that there’s much more,
And so return and make a vow
To teach us all What was before.

We listen to your sinful craze –
Amazed at heresy untold,
God kills His Son – blood runs for days! –
Smiles Lucifer, and we – behold…

Dark Forest

In darkest forest entered two –
So somber, not a smile is seen.
Thick bushes, dirt they battled through;
Tonight one dies for other’s sin.

The moonless night, clouds hide the stars –
And even owl afraid to cry –
Black trees slit view not unlike scars;
Two sinners walk, but one must die.

A clearing where they arrive
Shows precipice and dark abyss.
The victim hurried with a knife;
They wait – something is still amiss.

Dark mist surrounds unpleasant view –
An omen they’ve been waiting for –
In dead of night slit throat looks blue;
The body hurled with heavy roar.

Changes

A joke of life, a cruel game,
That we have no choice but to play,
And isn’t it a tragic shame,
That life of ours does often sway
When we’re unsure of the way,
In which to go, in which to look,
In which to search for our own peace
Not having naught, a shame it is,
Until of past we’ve closed the book.

But even then – the future looms
Not unlike savage beast, vile and unknown,
What does it bring and how it dooms
When all our hopes to it are thrown!
We thus become to suffering so prone.
The changes are where future is,
All changes, all’s consumed tomorrow,
For the unknown brings us our sorrow,
And takes as price our precious peace.

The changes bring the suffering,
And with it come both guilt and shame
For failure of uncovering
The purpose of our hateful blame,
Towards our brothers, who are same
Just as ourselves, in mist so lost,
Of such variety in life,
Which brings calamity of strife,
And in the end we pay the cost.

The cost of peace, the cost of love so true,
The cost for our deeds – unconscious as they are,
They still wear us and drag us through
The world of hell, from peace so far,
As we’re forgetting What we are.
For how would we remember love
When we in sin do still believe
And so with sin imagined we do live
Our pure Self seems cut in half.

Cut by our hate, and separation ‘tween the halves
Is strengthened still, through our guilt and fear,
And through attachment to our plans
That we so cherish, hold so dear,
Not letting Truth approach e’en near,
Out of our fear that it’ll expose
The unreality of all
That we have gathered since the fall,
Afraid of our imagined loss.

The tale of loss keeps us apart,
Believing still in gain through loss,
We fight each other, play our part
In ego’s wicked game of the remorse
That we still feel and cherish from across
The boundary of time and space
Which keeps you “better” than another,
Which keeps you separate from brother,
Unrecognized remains the face.

The face of Christ, which can’t be lost,
Which can’t be gained, for there’s no need
For that of which there is no cost,
That which is you – you need but heed
The words that sound how you are freed.
Freed from the pain and suffering
Of this so weary world unreal,
Of all the shame and guilt you feel,
From all the changes world does bring.

Salvation’s Hand

My mind still holds the deeds of my own life,
The thoughts that I have thought through years
And keeps the feeling, ever slight, of my own strife,
And keeps remembering of my sadness tears.
While being lost, I cried, cried bitterly,
And crying thus, increased my misery.

My mind was raw, untrained and rough,
It kept controlling me, yet I had no control
Of thoughts it thought, which me engulfed,
And deeds it forced upon my soul.
While being meek, mindless I was,
For I was meek only for ego’s cause.

And it went on, for years and years,
My life continued flowing ‘tween the shores
Of ego’s cause, that caused my tears and fears,
But also other Voice, that had a subtle course
Of reaching to my soul and healing all the pain,
And sharing pure love, which I could not explain.

The first time I did hear the Voice of Light
It too did cause slight fear, being opposite of “life”,
(At least I called it “life”), yet its own Might
Did calm me down, put peace in place of strife
And made me question everything I knew,
For long I felt the questions long time due.

My life took course unknown before, and then
The other voice, the little voice of pain and guilt,
Became much louder, reaching from its den
Tried to submit my soul, seducing me with gilt.
Yet all the raucous shrieks that it had made,
Could no longer my Self persuade.

For something’s changed, I’ve changed myself,
My life, the way I now perceive has changed,
The gentle Voice of Love took me away from hell –
How gladly did I hell for Love exchanged!
The peace I feel does grow on me, and I become,
The essence of the peace from where the Voice did come.

The life goes on, the body still contains,
My essence, wanting to break free. I know –
Some lesson still unlearned for me remains,
Yet my life now so peacefully does flow,
For I have heard the Truth, have learned to Love,
Nothing this world does offer is enough!

Time’s passed, the words mean less, I’d rather pray,
In silence of my holy, one healed mind
The path I follow does no longer sway,
Now nothing in this world for me remains to find.
Since I have felt salvation’s hand,
My love knows much, but not an end.

The Fear

God wills only the happiness for me,
And yet at times I’m still afraid so much,
And when afraid, I do refuse to see,
Oblivious of God’s so gentle touch.

How does it happen, fear absorbs me so?
What did I do, deserving timid fate?
I try being still, yet ego asks for more,
Rejoices ego much when I’m afraid.

So I give up, unable to resist
The ego’s wicked guile, that shakes me still,
That keeps me buried deeply in the mist,
That hides from me the Love I cannot feel.

So violently and cruel the fear still lives in me,
It shakes my body with primordial force,
The terror blinds my eyes, I cannot see,
Of Light I’m unaware when I’m under this curse,

Of all the good, of anything that’s real
I’m unaware too, being blinded with disgust,
For when I am afraid, the hate I also feel –
When fear is me, I cannot live in trust.

And so the ego leads me into hell –
Oh, how I suffer when I follow it!
I buy its lies with my own soul to sell –
Ego accepts, I am so lost, and I do quit…

But just before it grasps my holy Self
The Voice inside grows stronger, and I hear!
The Voice will never let to lose my Self
It does protect me so, when ego’s near.

I’m still afraid, the fight goes on inside,
Day after day in conflict I exist,
But every day the Voice is by my side:
Grows weak the ego, I’m seeing through its mist.

It does take time for fear to go away
It does take patience, yet I persevere.
With such allies I’ll never lose my way:
Thought after thought, the ego’ll disappear!

The Moment of Temptation

As I go now about this task
I do condemn myself to death
I’m not my Self, on put the mask,
And I believe that it’s this breath,

That is my life, this body’s me,
I’m mortal, empty shell about to die,
I have this thought of not allowing be,
My nature, purpose, love of mine.

And I am raising against God,
Thinking my will can conquer His,
My true self I remember not,
I have forgotten laughing at mistakes, it is

A shame I am so lost
This very moment choice I make:
This pain accepting as the cost,
Putting my true life at the stake.

The Secrets

So many things in this life seem so strange,
And clearly, many things you do not know,
Forbidden secrets, designed to derange,
Telling you lies, the truth they never show.

The bargain you are having still with God,
To find the answers you believe you need,
In order to continue suffering not,
Your destiny you’re trying to meet.

And you believe that God but plays a game,
To lead you through a world of misery,
Condemning you to suffering and shame,
And so you suffer, suffer bitterly.

With such belief, God does seem cruel indeed,
To lead you through a journey with no end,
You suffer till his whims you fully meet,
And so in suffering your life you spend.

But it’s your ego that plays this cruel game,
This foolish stranger living deep inside,
If you allow, it’ll surely place a claim
On what you are, denying you true sight.

God has no secrets, His truth is pure indeed,
You do not need to prove yourself to Him,
You do not need to suffer, scream and bleed,
All secrets are your own – attempt to hide your sin.

What could be secret from God’s Will?
What could He hide from His own Son?
You’ve made these secrets when you’ve killed,
Your Self, unconscious what you’ve done.

Let not your fear of sin emerge,
Do not allow your ego be,
For it will gladly sing your dirge,
For you’ve made it in order not to see.

This secrecy opposes pure love,
Assuming there are wicked things to hide,
But all this hiding’s not enough,
Your Self through hiding you can’t find.

Open your eyes and let defenses go,
The truth’s inside, you have but learn to see,
True vision’s to your ego – final blow,
Letting it go, you will allow your Self to be.

Crusaders of the Truth

In these tough times of darkness so obscure
We need protection from imagined sin,
We are to follow those only who matured,
We’re not allowed to look for truth within.

Crusaders of the Truth will show the way:
They will attack the sinners of this world
Who dare through wicked teaching lead astray
The sheep who blindly follow what they’re told.

Crusaders of the Truth won’t rest in peace
Till every sinner of the world’s exposed,
Their Holy mission – showing where Truth is,
Stomping to dust the ones who Truth oppose.

But in these times, which are indeed obscure,
Crusaders of the Truth themselves’re opposed.
In times when even teachers’re insecure,
In times when Son of God can be so loathed,

In these dark times the flock must guided be
By Voice of God – Martyrs of Teaching Pure,
Who won’t allow the lies of sin to be,
Protecting from Crusaders’ sly allure.

And so they fight, and viciously at that,
And flock has been forgotten long ago,
Neither Crusaders, nor Martyrs will let
To halt the growth of egos – so they grow.

How much importance are we to assign,
To understanding not our “holy” ways?
Are we too blind to see so clear a sign
That it’s our fight, which ego stronger makes?

Are they important so, ways of this world,
That we will kill our Self in name of them?
We’re deaf to Voice, which to us clearly told –
We’re not to slaughter God’s innocent lamb.

No matter! Voice of God does grow so dim,
Crusaders of the Truth are fighting on
With such persistence, gruesome and so grim,
Until the last mistake (judge they) is gone.

Indeed, the Voice is dim, the truth’s obscure –
Martyrs of Holy Light will fight the same,
For only they hold teaching true and pure,
And so they teach – through anger, hate and shame.

The ego

The ego shakes my body still
And fuels me with its beliefs.
It teaches me its “truth” – to kill,
And so I listen – so it lives.

The ego takes away the pain –
For single moment, day, a year,
It takes away this awful shame
And I forget that it is near.

The ego makes me feel so good –
It does not win if I am lost,
It craves for pain, its basic food,
But it’s afraid to pay the cost –

If ego torments me too much,
I might start searching for an end
Of pain which is the ego’s crutch
And so it offers me its hand.

The ego’s most of all afraid –
It is in terror if I’m still,
But oh, how well it does persuade! –
So subtly whispers how I feel.

It gives me pleasure of a kind,
It strives that I get fleeting highs,
It hides behind what’s in my mind
Through guile and slyness, tricks and lies.

The things it offers seem so good:
The music, that excites me so,
The books, that lighten up my mood,
The drugs, that take me down so low,

The people – which it says I need,
The power – buying others’ love,
The money – vice of mine to feed –
All worldly things, which I can’t get enough.

The ego knows its game so well –
It planned it billions years ahead!
It tricked me, put me here to dwell,
Severed my mind and made me mad.

It’ll surely go to any length
To make me mindless, without will,
To make me lose remaining strength –
It never aims to wound, but kill.

So many things so mindlessly I do,
Do strengthen ego, help it grow in me –
Unconscious things, or conscious too
Make ego strong, not letting Self to be.

For eons it’s been winning at this game,
How many lifetimes did I suffer here?
It tricks through anger, blame and shame
To do my worst, not letting my love near.

I’m tired, lost, I don’t want what it has,
I’ve suffered much – tormented billions years!
Thus ego steps away, it does torment me less,
With patience waiting while I dry my tears.

It rests so still in corners of my mind,
It knows I am afraid to look for source of pain –
With complex tales and lies defensiveness’s designed,
Through constant guilt my will does ego drain!

It is afraid so much when I’m becoming sane,
It does not want me starting on this search,
It does step back when I am tired of its game –
Behind my back it lights anew the torch.


Time passes by and I calm down,
Life seems like it’s becoming good,
And so again at many things I frown –
The ego’s back, for I supply it with new food.

This lifetime ends, I die in pain,
Rejoices ego, caring not for me,
And all my suffering does seem in vain
For I allowed my foe to be.

Yet, for a moment between lives,
Without a body I am still –
Through stillness, truth of God does rise,
I am reborn, but now I stronger feel!

As soon as body takes me back
The ego’s there, like predator in hunt,
It takes it slow my life to wreck,
It is afraid to show its hate so blunt.

It’s very patient, so it waits
For me to grow, enjoying life,
But soon again it shows just how it hates
My Self, my Love – it leads me into strife.

Life after life I’ve suffered much,
In vain it seemed – but it was not! –
Through lessons pure, through gentle touch,
I was remembering one God.

I am much stronger in this life,
The ego feels much less secure,
I am resisting pointless strife,
I am aware of its allure.

And yet —
It does its worst, and resting not,
It tries to bring the horror to my mind,
For eons strongly ego fought;
Its terror stricken now – its end to find.

This time around I know it’s there:
I’ve learned its tricks, I see its guile,
I know its hate, deception and despair –
But now I live with gentle smile –

The God Himself protects me now,
Enough I grew, remembering Him,
And when One does remember how
Love feels – the ego grows mortally dim.

The words mean less, without them ego’s weak,
I do not need to search and think,
I do not need to strive, to speak,
I simply am, no longer on the brink.

I know from where ego came,
I am aware of mistake
Which I thought real, bringing the shame,
Forgetting Love, putting all being at the stake.

With knowledge pure I walk through clouds –
No longer can the shadows on the wall
Seem real – as if tormented crowds
Are walking still in darkness of the hall.

No longer Son of God is fooled,
No longer ego rules the dream,
Enough of what seemed as its rule –
The wicked light in it grows dim.

I have the power of One God
To fuel in me the perfect Love –
The things of this world bother not,
The One who knows, who’s seen enough.

Sonnets of Love – 21 (A Gift)

I have a gift I want to share with you,
It’s not something you pride upon –
It’s not a thing at all.
I cannot gift it, saying what’s true,
You have this gift, when ego’s gone –
The gift is Love, which makes you whole.

Remembering to Live

We’re lost in our erratic thoughts
And seeing them as real,
We truly feel,
As if the pain and suffering
We go through each and every day,
At any point may
Show us where happiness is
And how to find our perfect peace…

The memory of God
To the disturbed mind –
Comes not.
The one who tries to find
The Truth in any thing,
Love alongside hate,
If pleasure is in separation seen
This one’s determined to dream.

Remembering to live –
We’ve managed to forget
How to forgive
And see,
That it’s not what we get,
But what we give.
How we forgive is showing clearly
Our desire for war or peace,
And what do we hold dearly –
The ego’s hate or God’s perfect bliss.

Impossible Communication

You cannot communicate with another if you speak in different languages. You are aware of that, and yet you speak two different languages in your mind and you wonder why you are lost.

The Voice of God is ever present inside of you, because you are included in everything God has to say.

The little voice of ego is an illusion in which you placed your own belief. This voice speaks only against God, therefore speaking always against the Truth. The Truth does not include ego and so its biggest fear is your remembering of the Truth.

All conflict in your life is resolved instantly when you realize that a compromise in God is not possible – you must listen to His Voice, and His alone.

It is impossible to communicate in alien tongues. You and your Creator can communicate through creation, because that, and only that is Your joint Will. A divided mind cannot communicate, because it speaks for different things to the same mind. This loses the ability to communicate simply because confused communication does not mean anything. A message cannot be communicated unless it makes sense. How sensible can your messages be, when you ask for what you do not want? Yet as long as you are afraid of your will, that is precisely what you are asking for. (T-9.I.6)

The choice

A miracle is our natural inheritance. It is our remembering. The miracle is in yourself, it cannot be outside. The world cannot produce a miracle, for it is not the purpose for which it’s been created.

You hold a grievance because you believe you are ego. And as an ego, you treat life as you unique, separate and special experience and not having it means death. You are afraid of Love inside, but only as an ego. You’ve seemingly chosen to be an ego. Each moment you are making the same choice again. Each moment is a chance to choose differently.

You’ve chosen to sleep and this is the purpose you believe in. The fear you feel is simply unreasonable unwillingness to change your purpose into awakening.

There is no world

There is no world – thus the main theme of A Course In Miracles can be summarized.

The ego gathers evidence to the contrary, day and night. The only goal the ego pursues is to prove to you that there is in fact a world. There is a universe and you’re a body. You live on earth and you have real needs. You have to honor needs, or else – you suffer, wither and die.

Everything is built around this theme in this world – there is virtually nothing and no one who helps you to see differently. It is a prison where prisoners imagine to be kings, and they will not allow a dissident to break free and show them the beauty behind the barbwire.

There is no world – you learn of this and now you know no better but to deny the world. Deny your bodily needs, deny the laws the ego set forth for you. But how can you deny something you don’t believe in?

Denying the ego is what makes it seemingly real. Your thought is what gave rise to this illusion, and the denial is yet another thought. Until you learn to give the world no thought at all, it will be there for you, tormenting you forever.

What does it mean to give no thought at all? It means to not judge. You see the world for what it is and you do not judge one thing to be better or worse, more or less special. While you are here your body has some needs – you fulfill them, but you do not seek your purpose in them. You continue to function – but with a gentle smile upon your face, forgiving the sin you know does not exist.

Unchanged and Pure

A Brother stands in front of me,
In light, in perfect holiness I see
Him standing still, secure –
Unchanged and pure.

My love extending towards him,
God’s Love, not ego’s fleeting whim,
Of one thing I am sure –
It is unchanged and pure.

The lies you hear
So intricately ringing in your ear,
They’re difficult, they change,
For they’re designed to derange.

The Truth is simple, it’s your cure,
The Truth you’re destined to reclaim –
Forever same,
Unchanged and pure.

Ego wants me

Ego wants me to be afraid,
It wants me to feel the hate –
To make so real the dream,
And make eternal Light in me to dim.

Ego wants me to forget,
Distracts me with things it wants me to get –
And it suggests – so cunningly and sweet,
Where outside of God my happiness I’ll meet.

But I refuse to look and make it real,
For I am Love, I am in God.
It thinks the Truth is kept concealed,
But for illusions I care not.

It will not listen, nor understand
The Truth I see from where I stand.


Ego wants me to put the blame,
And then it makes me feel the shame.
It needs the conflict to exist –
To hold me always in its mist.

And it won’t listen, nor respect,
The Truth which I stand to protect.

Yes, ego wants so much,
But most of all, it is afraid –
For it is, but a crutch,
I seemingly have made.

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