Exemplified in death
The sin and the defense
To keep the tired breath
Within the crumbling fence.
Stalks shadows in the night
The child, lost long ago,
Who’s overcome with blight –
The wild blood flows below.
Who will repent the sin
When pain makes it so real?
The moment we begin
To strain for the unreal
We are already lost –
No savior offers hand.
Damnation is the cost
To walk corrupted land.
Be wary – they’ve arrived!
We have strived to stop them,
Yet still, tenaciously,
They have arrived to kill.
No one escapes, they’re here –
In fear, we cannot hide,
They reach inside and tear
The flesh off bones – alas! –
Too late – they have arrived!
In nightmares we have seen
Them coming from within,
Our sin – to let them through.
We cannot fend them off,
Nor mend the ills they’ve caused
We never paused to think
What our own thoughts could bring.
Does bird feel tortured when she’s made to fly?
So why do we stay so uncertain still?
Lost in the endless search until we die,
So out of touch with remnants of our Will.
Truth is not frail, it is our greatest gift –
Would you exchange it for a pile of dust?
For dreams of pain and goals that always shift,
For hopes of gain, when all you gain is rust?
“Uncertain of one’s path” – I’d say: “Insane!”
Caught in such sleep where light remains unseen,
Dreaming of choosing between death and pain
While praying for forgiveness of no sin.
I dreamed of killing raging God,
And then I dreamed that I’m awake –
From dream to dream illusions brought
The pain – the proof of my mistake.
The sweetest pain, along with time,
The strongest witness against God!
Proving existence of the crime,
Reward, for which I’ve always fought!
Excruciating beyond hell,
Constant companion of mine,
Intoxicates the bloody smell –
I am in pain through my design!
I slit my veins, with drops of blood
Draw tiny circle around me –
A place where God will enter not –
To be in pain, or not to be?
I’m not a saint – could you not tell?
I’m generally doing well
Avoiding judging you out loud –
While in my head – of judgement proud.
With devil walking hand in hand
I cannot help but to pretend
That what I know is better taught
Yet my own teacher chaos wrought!
He whispers, hissing in my ear:
“Come here my son, and have no fear,
I’ll show you wonders of the world
And you’ll perceive as you are told”.
Being blind, I see but through his eyes
And can be sure of only lies,
I am convinced something’s not right –
How could your love escape my sight?
As I go now about this task
I do condemn myself to death
In blinding rage on put the mask,
And I believe that it’s this breath –
This is my life, this body’s me,
I’m mortal shell about to die!
Still praying of not letting be
True nature, purpose, love of mine.
And I am raising against God,
Thinking my will can conquer His,
For eons I this battle fought
I laugh at very thought of peace!
It’s such a shame I am so lost,
Yet there is always choice to make:
This pain accepting as my cost,
Or to wake up from my mistake.
Second revision
Ask for no romance of the hell,
It has an air of rotten stench.
What it reminds of – could you tell?
A thirst impossible to quench.
Fight never for the cause of sin,
Nor waste your breath for its defense,
When you find courage – look within –
A stranger laughs at your expense.
Ask for no peace of warring lords,
Hope for no mercy when you’re caught –
Unheeded left your begging words
When body to the scaffold brought.
Seek never answers in this world,
Pray not for body to maintain
Your love and soul – both had been sold
For chance in body to remain.
Dark night, so quiet – unseen the sin
With eyes of flesh – can I begin
To recognize how much we’re lost?
I hesitate – too high a cost.
Day comes anew, rises the sun –
What if we knew what we have done?
Would we find courage, choose again? –
Not under burden being men.
When will we wake from dreams obscure? –
Never while time still has allure.
We pray, give sacrifice in blood,
Yet it persists – all is for naught.
I wish I could… No, even pray! –
That I could see not other day,
And break free from the chains of time
Awaken from my seeming crime.
Five man tied tightly in one place
In darkest cave, in front of wall
With shadows lurking which they face –
What was before? – They don’t recall.
One man is me, the other – you,
The third is God, and fourth – His Son.
The fifth is Lucifer, he knew:
When all are tied, the Truth’s undone.
You have escaped – God knows not how!
Now you have seen that there’s much more,
And so return and make a vow
To teach us all What was before.
We listen to your sinful craze –
Amazed at heresy untold,
God kills His Son – blood runs for days! –
Smiles Lucifer, and we – behold…
In darkest forest entered two –
So somber, not a smile is seen.
Thick bushes, dirt they battled through;
Tonight one dies for other’s sin.
The moonless night, clouds hide the stars –
And even owl afraid to cry –
Black trees slit view not unlike scars;
Two sinners walk, but one must die.
A clearing where they arrive
Shows precipice and dark abyss.
The victim hurried with a knife;
They wait – something is still amiss.
Dark mist surrounds unpleasant view –
An omen they’ve been waiting for –
In dead of night slit throat looks blue;
The body hurled with heavy roar.
The light
Which shines in me
With holy might –
I let it be,
And recognize –
The light is me.
The peace
Such holy thought
Which we dismiss
When we are caught
In ego’s mind –
What has it brought? –
The pain.
Abandoned soul
Seems to be stained
With only goal –
Remembering
Its holy role.
Forgive
And you will see
How what you give
Allows your peace to be
And shine inside,
Cleansing your sight.
The light
Is but your own,
Is God’s own might
In which you’re known.
Awake from sin –
Look deep within!
Forgotten moments of the past,
Unknown the remnants of tomorrow –
Is it so strange that I have lost
The meaning of my only sorrow?
The sorrow I have felt when time
Reminded me – all will be gone…
But why? – Is living such a crime,
That time must come when it’s withdrawn?
What use have fleeting dreams of life,
When every moment passes by,
When in the midst of endless strife
You walk so low while dreaming high?
The time, some say – it even heals!
And teaches us, and helps us grow!
But in the end, it always kills –
Much is unknown, but this I know…
What was before the time begun?
How did it start, when, where – why?
What will become when time’s undone?
Will someone miss it, perhaps cry?
I have an old clock on the wall –
Each day it must be brought to life
So that the hands will slowly crawl
And help the evening to arrive.
If time is similar perhaps
Then someone must have started it,
But then, one day it will collapse,
No longer able to submit –
Each one of us to walk alone,
Kept separate by time and space –
Oh, wicked tyrant, cease, begone!
Where there is time, there is no grace.
A carpet’s spread – I drag my feet
For thousands miles – where does it lead?
Where do I go and why I strive
To find a point in pointless life?
The carpet’s red – as if being stained
In blood which here so long remained
After the journey others made
In search of their own bloody fate.
As I look back I see the past
And all the journey I have passed
While walking aimlessly alone
Along this path into unknown.
In front of me – the future lays –
Strange how it always same remains,
Looks just as narrow, just as red –
Same carpet stretches far ahead.
Where is the end, where did I start? –
The voice is silent in my heart.
The carpet hides behind the time
The reason of my only crime.
The time is prison – I remain
Locked in the cage which I maintain
Through dragging still my feet along
The carpet where I don’t belong.
It’s being time – where could it lead,
But to my death, to my defeat.
The journey pointless and so long,
The journey I myself prolong.
But time must come to end as well –
It’s up to me to break its spell.
The carpets rolls up, disappears –
No guilt remains, but my dry tears.
You see yourself as sinful, guilty and fearful. By this “seeing” you are creating yourself as such. Is it your will to be called these names, that you yourself came up with? Do you want suffering or peace?
How do you change this view of yourself? How do you start seeing yourself in true light? You cannot accomplish this through affirmations or intellectual reasoning. The only way you can see yourself as Light is to see all your Brothers as Light. Every tiny bit of darkness you find in another will be multiplied and reflected in you.
When you condemn your Brother into darkness, do you suppose that Light will be shown to you? Do you believe that Light is something a separated body can ever have?
The Light is all there is. It includes everything, as it is everything. It loves everyone, because everyone is standing in the Light. Realize that there is no darkness by not looking for darkness.
What is “sin” but an error you seemed to make but never did? Yet, by listening to the ego, you started thinking sin is real and you forgot that Son of God is perfect like his Father.
From childhood we’ve been taught that some things are “good” and some are “bad”. And when you do this or that – you sin, and reinforce belief of dream you’re in. Then, you experience guilt for the imagined sin you seemed to have committed.
Sin is not possible without judgement, because it is only kept intact in you as long as you see it in your Brother. How would you perceive of something, unless you would constantly maintain it real by finding it all around you?
And yet it is so easy to let go of all this nonsense. Regard your Brother as yourself – as One Son of God, forever perfect and pure. Do not try to find His fault, for you will never forgive something that you made real. Just realize that there is not a single sinner in the whole world, and no one’s guilty. There is no hate, nor anger. If it is not in anyone, it’s not in You.
To any Brother in the world you can extend your will – your love or hate.
You can condemn a brother, judge him for this or that, and it will make you burn with anger. You know you’re right, your anger’s justified. The condemnation is your will, if you identify with ego.
Or, you can Forgive. Forgiveness is extension of Love, which is beyond this world.
“How can you forgive when clearly he has sinned!?” – cries ego. And yet, true Forgiveness is gifted not for the repentance of the sin. Only the ego makes you ask for a condition before you can forgive.
True Forgiveness comes not on a condition, but from recognition – that sin is an illusion you project. Your Brother’s never sinned, and when you grant him that, how anything but Love be felt inside you for him?