Anthropomorphic god
In my domain
Lives by my rules.
What came he here to do?
Why come to me
Amongst all fools?
Am I a prophet now,
To hear the voice
Unheard to all?
Or from my wits exiled –
Long lost my mind
During the fall.
I tried to understand
How to break free –
All was in vain!
Until I saw the light
Dim and obscure
Beyond the pain.
Thin, ghastly ghost of god
Has been exiled –
I’m all alone.
What’s left is lost to lies –
Myself defiled,
I turn to stone.
Still standing – moribund,
Pretending that I found
What lies beyond the death,
I draw my final breath.
A body strives to live,
My soul – but to forgive.
Beyond the veil declined
Whole world – but not my mind.
It still perceives the light
And keeps the same old fight.
The lessons still unlearned –
I’m hurled to earth – returned.
Again – I start anew!
It is as if I knew:
The figures in the dream
Are me – or only seem?
I am the teacher, pupil I,
The one who never wants to die,
The one who’s split between two minds,
The one who searches – never finds.
I am the prison, breaking free
And yet the jailer – not quite me,
But only shadow in my heart,
Which keeps myself broken apart.
I am the Sun beyond the sky,
I am the Moon about to die,
The stars that shine are part of me –
At least till I have broken free.
I am the ocean, endless stream
Of drowning bodies in the dream,
Unconscious of the water still
I’m not quite me – I’ve lost my will.
I lay alone under a tree,
Feeling nostalgic and whatnot,
I thought of all I came to be –
Whether I’m cursed or blessed by God?
I thought the thoughts – some strange indeed!
“I think therefore I am” – Am I?
Were I to follow where they lead,
What comes of “me” when “my thoughts” die?
Or could it be that I’m asleep?
It seems so real, but would I know?
Often nightmares seem real indeed
Even when having strangest flow!
Such thoughts made sudden change in me,
I realized – I have no will!
The sky came down so suddenly,
And I woke up, in my room still.
How strange – my thoughts that were unreal,
Conceived beyond the thickest haze,
Brought new perception of surreal,
Helped to escape from wicked maze.
Now in my bed, as I lay still,
Nightmarish thoughts bring back the dream –
Voice in my head cries loud and shrill –
Opened my mouth, but could not scream!
The dead may sleep,
And so may I
The dead must keep
Tight shut their eye
While they pretend
That it’s a rest
To find one’s end
In death expressed.
Waiting until
The day I die
I struggle still
Living a lie.
Restless as all
Who wait for death
Under control
Of failing breath.
Does bird feel tortured when she’s made to fly?
So why do we stay so uncertain still?
Lost in the endless search until we die,
So out of touch with remnants of our Will.
Truth is not frail, it is our greatest gift –
Would you exchange it for a pile of dust?
For dreams of pain and goals that always shift,
For hopes of gain, when all you gain is rust?
“Uncertain of one’s path” – I’d say: “Insane!”
Caught in such sleep where light remains unseen,
Dreaming of choosing between death and pain
While praying for forgiveness of no sin.
I dreamed of killing raging God,
And then I dreamed that I’m awake –
From dream to dream illusions brought
The pain – the proof of my mistake.
The sweetest pain, along with time,
The strongest witness against God!
Proving existence of the crime,
Reward, for which I’ve always fought!
Excruciating beyond hell,
Constant companion of mine,
Intoxicates the bloody smell –
I am in pain through my design!
I slit my veins, with drops of blood
Draw tiny circle around me –
A place where God will enter not –
To be in pain, or not to be?
A beauty, peace, such strong resolve –
I walk between the trees of life,
Fruits shine with light and I dissolve
Into same light where there’s no strife.
Awakened mind knows but pure love:
All-encompassing, holy, strong.
Describing it – no words enough,
It is a gentle, wordless song.
Before I wakened, used to walk
Between the trees of false desires
With fruits not unlike shameless liars,
There was no peace, but endless talk:
Confused in mind so deep asleep
The words formed into guilt and shame,
Seducing me to sell so cheap
My soul for shining gilt and fame.
Those trees bore fruit rotten to core,
Hopelessness was their only stench;
So many fooled to come for more!
Stretching their arms for lowest branch.
And when the fingers touch the rot
In but a moment – petrify…
The stench makes mind in deep sleep caught,
With dreams of sin that terrify.
But deep – a memory remains
Of what it’s like beyond the dream,
When one used seeing peaceful planes,
And washed tired bones in holy stream
Of love, unknown in world of pain
Where trees of hopelessness prevail.
Who would prefer there to remain? –
Self-tortured in self-chosen jail.
I walked unsure, at times depressed,
So often stumbling on my quest!
At times being lost or so it seemed
When I believed in dreams I dreamed.
I dreamed of Earth, being born in dust,
And of our brethren and the cost
That we have paid with spirit pure
To come to form – dying flesh obscure.
I dreamed of me – or was it you?
So many figures, quite a few
Appeared to me in dreams of sin
But could it all come from within?
The time shall come, I need but wait,
When I wake up in pure state,
When I remember what I am,
And cease to dream, and cease to damn.
Forgotten moments of the past,
Unknown the remnants of tomorrow –
Is it so strange that I have lost
The meaning of my only sorrow?
The sorrow I have felt when time
Reminded me – all will be gone…
But why? – Is living such a crime,
That time must come when it’s withdrawn?
What use have fleeting dreams of life,
When every moment passes by,
When in the midst of endless strife
You walk so low while dreaming high?
The time, some say – it even heals!
And teaches us, and helps us grow!
But in the end, it always kills –
Much is unknown, but this I know…
What was before the time begun?
How did it start, when, where – why?
What will become when time’s undone?
Will someone miss it, perhaps cry?
I have an old clock on the wall –
Each day it must be brought to life
So that the hands will slowly crawl
And help the evening to arrive.
If time is similar perhaps
Then someone must have started it,
But then, one day it will collapse,
No longer able to submit –
Each one of us to walk alone,
Kept separate by time and space –
Oh, wicked tyrant, cease, begone!
Where there is time, there is no grace.
Not unlike flying bumblebee, passing us by
The eons will pass by, and only buzz in our ears
Remains, reminds that even Sun one day will die
Abandoning our hopes, no longer drying our sad tears.
“What lives must die” – thus teaches us the world insane,
Amidst uncertainty, the prospect of our death seems true,
As it’s the only thing that waits to end our pain
We’ve learned being docile and calmly suffer through.
As we are coming into body, we begin
All this calamity – so rife – I ask, “What for?” –
To live illusionary life, undoing sin?
Something’s amiss – there must be more to it – much more!
“Deep sleep, so dark, fell thus upon his tired head” –
I read in Bible, as it starts, but then I do read on –
Some stories wise and ringing true, some very sad –
Yet never does it mention once that our sleep is gone!
In deepest slumber still, under the tree of sin
We thus remain, day after day, asleep and unaware
Of heaven we are in, of Love shining within
But choose instead to dream of dying Sun somewhere “out there”.
The Sun which sets at night, only to rise afresh –
Our Sun? – Indeed it is! For only we are dreaming still
Of it being good, caressing gently freezing flesh,
But also bad – burning in heat the remnants of our will
The Sun won’t die, for it was never born –
The holy hand of loving God, did not reach out
And manifest the world of suffering – so worn!
The world where nothing is within, all is without.
It is a special day for you:
The fears you’ve had will disappear
And you will shine anew, reborn.
Today the light will cover up your view,
The problems of your dream no longer will appear:
It is a happy dream when you have reached your bourne.
You look around and misperceive,
You walk this world and you believe,
That everything you see around
Reflects the laws of time,
To which you’re bound.
The time, a seeming master of your life,
It forces you to live forever in a strife,
To struggle, trying to survive –
Survival you’ve confused with life.
The Laws of Death are rulers in this dream:
It is by their word you die
And realize that life had only seemed –
The rulers of your dream will not conceal a lie,
To hide from you their essence – which you dreamed.
It is a world in which you only seem to live
And you are following these Laws of Death,
Because you’ve chosen to believe
That your life depends on body’s breath.
There is no world – thus the main theme of A Course In Miracles can be summarized.
The ego gathers evidence to the contrary, day and night. The only goal the ego pursues is to prove to you that there is in fact a world. There is a universe and you’re a body. You live on earth and you have real needs. You have to honor needs, or else – you suffer, wither and die.
Everything is built around this theme in this world – there is virtually nothing and no one who helps you to see differently. It is a prison where prisoners imagine to be kings, and they will not allow a dissident to break free and show them the beauty behind the barbwire.
There is no world – you learn of this and now you know no better but to deny the world. Deny your bodily needs, deny the laws the ego set forth for you. But how can you deny something you don’t believe in?
Denying the ego is what makes it seemingly real. Your thought is what gave rise to this illusion, and the denial is yet another thought. Until you learn to give the world no thought at all, it will be there for you, tormenting you forever.
What does it mean to give no thought at all? It means to not judge. You see the world for what it is and you do not judge one thing to be better or worse, more or less special. While you are here your body has some needs – you fulfill them, but you do not seek your purpose in them. You continue to function – but with a gentle smile upon your face, forgiving the sin you know does not exist.
Ego wants me to be afraid,
It wants me to feel the hate –
To make so real the dream,
And make eternal Light in me to dim.
Ego wants me to forget,
Distracts me with things it wants me to get –
And it suggests – so cunningly and sweet,
Where outside of God my happiness I’ll meet.
But I refuse to look and make it real,
For I am Love, I am in God.
It thinks the Truth is kept concealed,
But for illusions I care not.
It will not listen, nor understand
The Truth I see from where I stand.
Ego wants me to put the blame,
And then it makes me feel the shame.
It needs the conflict to exist –
To hold me always in its mist.
And it won’t listen, nor respect,
The Truth which I stand to protect.
Yes, ego wants so much,
But most of all, it is afraid –
For it is, but a crutch,
I seemingly have made.
When you condemn,
You misperceive.
It only seems you damn
The soul you look upon,
But condemnation nothing can achieve.
When you give curse,
You’re hurt inside.
You do not feel your worth,
It is the light in you
That you are trying to hide.
And when you hate –
You mostly hate yourself.
You see no longer straight,
For why would you be closing
In front of you the Heaven’s gate?
When you condemn,
You’re but asleep.
It looks like there’s you and them –
A foolish dream made possible
Because your slumber is so deep.
Every day you wake up in the morning only to go through all the same things and go to sleep again. But do you really awaken when you open your eyes in the morning? Do you really see any more with your eyes open?
When you see a dream it seems so real, and yet your eyes are closed. Then you wake up and but continue seeing the very same dream. Your eyes has nothing to do with vision and they won’t help you see the Light.
So what is awakening? The ego has an answer for you. It will give you thousand concepts about awakening. The ego doesn’t mind you adding a “spiritual” label to yourself. The ego is gladdened when you think of yourself as “awakened”. For when you “awaken”, and yet remain in the dream, there is no reason now to strive beyond the dream.
Ego’s awakening is of this world. It let’s you see a calmer dream and believe that it’s all there is to it. But as long as you value the dream you are still making it real. If you “awaken” but still in this world, how is it different from your waking up in the morning? You simply see a thousand dreams that hide the main illusion from you.
True awakening is letting go of the dream. It is the realization that you want to mindlessly slumber no more. As soon as you remember what is beyond the illusion, you will never look upon it again and will stop making it real for you.
You are the Master of the dream –
And what a foolish one at that!
You have but dreamed of world of hate,
Where souls are trapped and lost,
And then you threw away the key,
Not knowing what it cost.
And yet, to wake up – it’s your choice,
If you see dream for what it is,
If you but listen to your True Voice,
You’ll surely find the peace.
You send your messengers around the dream,
And they come back, reporting you about the dream you’re in.
The messengers of hate bring back
Just what you asked of them – attack:
“Master, that one has sinned,
This one is guilty.
You sent us with your hate,
And we returned with their flesh and blood.
So do not wait
And bring them death!
Show them who is your true god!”
The messengers of Love come back in joy,
Not knowing fear, nor hate, nor anger:
“Master, how beautiful your Brother is,
Forever innocent and pure,
Shining with light of perfect peace,
And sharing Love which offers instant cure.We brought your Love to him and now returned,
Bringing you Love of which we learned”.
You are the Master of the dream,
Be careful that light in you shall never dim.
What messengers you send out with your will –
Come back, and bring you Love – or kill.
And as the Master of the dream,
You’ll see a dream of peace or sin.