A miracle is our natural inheritance. It is our remembering. The miracle is in yourself, it cannot be outside. The world cannot produce a miracle, for it is not the purpose for which it’s been created.
You hold a grievance because you believe you are ego. And as an ego, you treat life as you unique, separate and special experience and not having it means death. You are afraid of Love inside, but only as an ego. You’ve seemingly chosen to be an ego. Each moment you are making the same choice again. Each moment is a chance to choose differently.
You’ve chosen to sleep and this is the purpose you believe in. The fear you feel is simply unreasonable unwillingness to change your purpose into awakening.