God wills only the happiness for me,
And yet at times I’m still afraid so much,
And when afraid, I do refuse to see,
Oblivious of God’s so gentle touch.
How does it happen, fear absorbs me so?
What did I do, deserving timid fate?
I try being still, yet ego asks for more,
Rejoices ego much when I’m afraid.
So I give up, unable to resist
The ego’s wicked guile, that shakes me still,
That keeps me buried deeply in the mist,
That hides from me the Love I cannot feel.
So violently and cruel the fear still lives in me,
It shakes my body with primordial force,
The terror blinds my eyes, I cannot see,
Of Light I’m unaware when I’m under this curse,
Of all the good, of anything that’s real
I’m unaware too, being blinded with disgust,
For when I am afraid, the hate I also feel –
When fear is me, I cannot live in trust.
And so the ego leads me into hell –
Oh, how I suffer when I follow it!
I buy its lies with my own soul to sell –
Ego accepts, I am so lost, and I do quit…
But just before it grasps my holy Self
The Voice inside grows stronger, and I hear!
The Voice will never let to lose my Self
It does protect me so, when ego’s near.
I’m still afraid, the fight goes on inside,
Day after day in conflict I exist,
But every day the Voice is by my side:
Grows weak the ego, I’m seeing through its mist.
It does take time for fear to go away
It does take patience, yet I persevere.
With such allies I’ll never lose my way:
Thought after thought, the ego’ll disappear!