Based on workbook lesson 4:
These thoughts do not mean anything
As I indeed did think these thoughts,
As they consumed my very self,
As I cried loudly to the gods:
Why so am I condemned to hell?
What chanced upon my wretched soul
That I heard voice of gods impure?
How did it come that I’m not whole
And gods I hear are too obscure?
The thoughts that chanced upon my mind,
So very murky like the waters dead,
With these same thoughts I tried to find
Who does control my wretched head?
For through these thoughts I am controlled,
I did submit to voice of hell,
And through its saying hell unfolds
Never did I feel pain so well.
It shreds my mind, the voice in my own head,
It burns my soul through lies I hear thus.
The words so clear: “Ay, ‘tis that,
Listen to me, I dare you these words to cross!
I dare you not listen to my voice,
Which’s telling you the only truth.
In fear do submit to my own curse
From all the gods it’s me you have to choose.
Who else can show you way in life,
You wretched, puny little thing?
Who else can end your wicked strife?
But only me, who truth does bring”.
Indeed I listened, and believed –
The things were said that trapped me so.
Through many lies in my life I have lived,
But never I was taken down so low.
For years I listened to the ego thus.
Unknown back then it was to me,
How I the most important battle lost,
Condemning me the sin to see.
I did not know from where it came,
I did not see the voice as hell,
But listened to the curse upon my name –
My very soul almost did sell.
These very thoughts developed so
Through many lives, year after year,
I did not live – existed in a woe,
Unable to control this endless fear.
Yet pure God never condemns,
He never does forget His Son,
But waits for him to come to sense,
And learn how nonexistent sin’s undone.
My thoughts of hate brought me the pain,
Time after time I met the death,
And never knowing that my bane
Controlled my thinking, every breath.
Through suffering untold I learned of fear
And could not listen to the ego anymore.
Day after day the Truth was coming nearer,
I came so close to ego’s wicked lore,
That finally I realized
What did cause all the suffering in life –
Nothing tormented me, but ego’s lies,
Nothing condemned me else to strife.
True God I started hearing then,
As soon as ego went away.
I heard the Pure Voice exactly when
I realized the ego’s ways.
I understood that all those thoughts,
That ego taught me all the time,
Did not have any meaning, but did cause
All suffering I had all through my prime.
All through my life in hell believed,
Yet what is hell, but ego’s wicked voice?
In clouds and mud and mist I lived,
Until I finally have made the choice.
The choice each one, each brother needs to make
In order to undo all suffering and sin.
The choice that finally my Self did wake,
That finally allowed my true life to begin.