Spiritual Advance

Madman

By Anatoliy Schneider

On June 13, 2017

In Poems

There is a madman in the wild
Walking closer to my house
With his steps all is defiled.

I prepare, as time allows
For the madman coming in
I can feel the fear within.

Madman roams outside my door
In suspension of the fear
I can’t take it anymore,

As the madman comes so near,
Gazing through the window frame,
Watching with his eyes insane,

Silence covers the unknown –
I can feel the madman breathe,
Breath much heavier than my own.

And the fear crawls underneath
My own flesh and my own skin,
As if burning for my sin,

I submit to fear and pain
Giving in and giving up
I’m defeated through my shame –

Madman got me in his trap
Once I’m caught, there’s no way out
It remains but scream and shout:

“Stranger leave myself alone!
Just get out and leave me be,
I can’t live life on your loan…”

All is dark, I cannot see
Yet the curtains still reveal
Madman’s shadow that I feel.

Even in the depths of hell
I’m not stranger to my Self,
Yet a stranger is inside.

From my thoughts I cannot hide,
Racing mind I can’t control
As it plays the madman’s role.

Much is said, much less is done –
Madman roams just as before,
I’m afraid that I’ve become

But a madman at my core.
Wretched stranger to my Self,
I’ve succumbed to madman’s hell.

The Word

By Anatoliy Schneider

On June 10, 2017

In Poems

In quietness of my own mind I wait
The stillness offers hand to searching mind.
In stillness of my Self I’m not afraid,
I’m sure, firm of what I’m going to find.

There is but one and only Word I need –
All noise and chaos of the world grow still
When I am still. I wait and heed –
There is but one and only love I feel.

With pure soul, and firm resolve
I am as certain as I never was before –
All problems solved, this world’s dissolved
All pain and suffering can be no more.

We’ve tried to live through sacrifice and sword,
We’ve tried being right in world since Abraham,
But let’s be quiet now and hear the Word:
With gentleness of pure soul – “I Am”.

Defense

By Anatoliy Schneider

On June 6, 2017

In Poems

Your body or your soul –
The choice that you have made
Defending against all
Which threatens wretched state,

Which questions very thought
That something is not right.
“Defense” – what had it brought?
Why did you start the fight?

Die, rot to very bone!
See how you will defend
The body against stone,
And while you try to mend

Illusions obscene,
And sin you can’t atone,
Rots swiftly everything
That you have ever known!

No matter – you don’t rest,
Peace is unknown to you –
Since leaving mother’s breast
And starting life anew

All seem but to attack,
And God along with them –
Defense is sign of lack,
Defenseless don’t condemn.

A Thought

By Anatoliy Schneider

On June 3, 2017

In Poems

Forgotten are the moments of the past
Forgiven are the sins of yesterday
Long gone the problems I have crossed
To come where I appear to be today.

Unknown to all what future will have brought
Nor should I care, for it arrives as now,
It is but known by virtue of a thought
I thought long time ago somehow.

A thought, while cherished, seems so strangely real
And once conceived, forgotten how it came.
Today this ancient thought is somewhere still
With no one, but myself to blame.

How far should time be dragging me and where?
I did not think of consequences then
And now I am imprisoned through my dare
To walk alone, in body, as a man.

The Hall Inside The Moor

By Anatoliy Schneider

On May 30, 2017

In Poems

And often I,
And often he
Approached the hidden moor.
Where secrets lay
In light of day –
Lay hidden past the door,

Which guards the way
Beyond the day –
At night unseen to all.
We heard it said:
“Have fear of dead,
Avoid the wretched hall!”

Yet he and I,
Thought not to die,
Sought ever chilling thrills.
And in the night,
In lack of light
Went into forest hills.

Unknown to all
How wretched hall
Appeared in dead of night.
We were surprised,
Yet recognized
What was before our sight.

A single light,
A reddish light
Was seen way past the door
We stood in fear,
Ever so near
The hall inside the moor

We followed in –
Now deep within
The light lured us inside.
Fools as we were
Were brought before
The sickening, reddish light.

As we approached
Courage reproached
And all but disappeared!
Yet light remained
In our blood stained –
The nightmare that we feared.

He lay unmoved,
Dead where he stood
Blood running past the door.
I ran away,
Seeking the way
Outside of hall in moor.

…

Mere man cannot
Reach past the door
Or so at least it seems
Many were brought
To knees before
The moor of hidden dreams.

Perhaps to die,
Never return
Is conquering the fear?
He died, not I –
I was not born
As brave as I appear.

Will we again
Being mere men
From wicked dreams break free?
How often we
Approached the hall?
Unknown; A mystery.

Abandoned Hall

By Anatoliy Schneider

On May 28, 2017

In Poems

Forgotten corners of my mind
Where creatures lay, hidden in dark,
Where whispers are still heard, and I –
But pray for silence to succumb me whole.

I’m lost in search trying to find
A tiny hope, a single spark
Of light long lost, bright light that I –
Refuse to recognize, but play my role.

When sins return to me in kind
I worry not – fear of the dark
No longer matters when I die –
Death drains my body, not my soul.

Forgotten long ago my mind,
Thick heavy clouds maintain the dark.
Who any hope has left? – not I,
Echos fade in my mind – abandoned hall.

I Rest in God

By Anatoliy Schneider

On May 23, 2017

In Poems

In timelessness you rest while time goes by
Without its touch of death upon your love
You rest because you’ve found the answer why
You were so lost – never to find enough.

But now you come to only place of peace,
Today you reach for Truth of God inside.
During turmoil you enter state of bliss –
Imagined sin of this world leaves your sight.

Now close your eyes, be still and say:
“I rest in God” – this thought salvation brings.
At any moment through your busy day
You rest in God, forgiven are your sins.

“I rest in God” – keep this pure thought until
All troubles of your busy day dissolve.
There is no suffering it cannot heal,
There is no problem that it cannot solve,

And no appearance, but will turn to Truth,
Before the eyes of you, who rest in God –
The only thought that teaches you pure use
Of everything this tired world is not.

Anthropomorphic god

By Anatoliy Schneider

On April 5, 2017

In Poems

Anthropomorphic god
In my domain
Lives by my rules.

What came he here to do?
Why come to me
Amongst all fools?

Am I a prophet now,
To hear the voice
Unheard to all?

Or from my wits exiled –
Long lost my mind
During the fall.

I tried to understand
How to break free –
All was in vain!

Until I saw the light
Dim and obscure
Beyond the pain.

Thin, ghastly ghost of god
Has been exiled –
I’m all alone.

What’s left is lost to lies –
Myself defiled,
I turn to stone.

Moribund

By Anatoliy Schneider

On April 3, 2017

In Poems

Still standing – moribund,
Pretending that I found
What lies beyond the death,
I draw my final breath.

A body strives to live,
My soul – but to forgive.
Beyond the veil declined
Whole world – but not my mind.

It still perceives the light
And keeps the same old fight.
The lessons still unlearned –
I’m hurled to earth – returned.

Again – I start anew!
It is as if I knew:
The figures in the dream
Are me – or only seem?

Corrupted Prophet

By Anatoliy Schneider

On April 1, 2017

In Poems

Abandoned love, exiled from life,
And all that good – he pushed away.
Corrupted prophet takes the knife,
Walks amongst crowds in light of day.

He smiles, a spark is barely seen
In narrow eyes – they look away.
He roams alone in search of sin,
Slits sinners’ throats in light of day.

Smelling the blood, he went insane,
Sin seen in all on killing spree.
They pray for mercy – all in vain,
He is to tell who’s not to be.

Abandoned mind, the wits exiled,
Insane devotion leads astray.
An image of himself defiled
Reflect his eyes in light of day.

Cavern

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 30, 2017

In Poems

The cavern – hidden in the dark,
Abode of death – not seen in light,
And only desperate fools embark
On search of cavern in the night.

The fireflies of sin will spark
Luring the travelers away
Foolish enough to walk in dark,
To wander off the well-lit way.

So many souls thus have been lost,
All kept alive: with eyes cut out,
With deafened ears by their host
And tongues severed – they will not shout.

All tied in cavern under hill:
Some fight the pain, but most – asleep,
Dreaming of torture, losing will,
With sightless eyes that cannot weep.

Them

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 28, 2017

In Poems

Be wary – they’ve arrived!
We have strived to stop them,
Yet still, tenaciously,
They have arrived to kill.

No one escapes, they’re here –
In fear, we cannot hide,
They reach inside and tear
The flesh off bones – alas! –

Too late – they have arrived!
In nightmares we have seen
Them coming from within,
Our sin – to let them through.

We cannot fend them off,
Nor mend the ills they’ve caused
We never paused to think
What our own thoughts could bring.

Work

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 26, 2017

In Poems

“I work, and working hard – I gain,
I have a vision to maintain,
I have a dream of happy life
Yet live a life of endless strife!

Reaching my dream takes greatest skill –
Today I am unhappy still!
Tomorrow must go as I plan
For me to be a happy man.

I worked, and working hard, it’s strange
How dream of happy life does change!
The more I gain, the more I need,
Working my constant wants to feed!”

…

He worked, he died, unhappy still…
Searching outside, he could not feel
That happiness is all he is –
Beyond the wants shines perfect peace.

Amen!

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 24, 2017

In Poems

The body released, as it’s taken away
Into the waters, so strangely obscure.
The lungs, crystallized with salt blocking the way
To pure air forever – life’s so insecure!
You’re ready to go, leaving all this behind
Oblivious to what you are going to find.

And now, somewhere else, the time has been slowed,
Remembering at last the source of your sin,
You are terrified in your formless abode –
The traitorous voices scream from deep within.
What comes after death? You’ve been told it’s pure light
Yet everything’s dark and so chilly inside!

All of the pain, the terror, the strife,
Races through spirit, trapped still in its dream,
All of the nightmares – each life after life –
Remembered at once, in one endless stream.
You’ve failed to awaken – death has no use,
The body is left not through death, but through Truth!

The spirit screams silently – horribly screams! –
With billions of voices – familiar each…
As long as it’s lost in its own wicked dreams
The Heaven remains so far out of reach.
You’re hurled back into “life” to try once again,
“Am I so forsaken!?” – voice whispers: “Amen!”

I am

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 22, 2017

In Poems

I am the teacher, pupil I,
The one who never wants to die,
The one who’s split between two minds,
The one who searches – never finds.

I am the prison, breaking free
And yet the jailer – not quite me,
But only shadow in my heart,
Which keeps myself broken apart.

I am the Sun beyond the sky,
I am the Moon about to die,
The stars that shine are part of me –
At least till I have broken free.

I am the ocean, endless stream
Of drowning bodies in the dream,
Unconscious of the water still
I’m not quite me – I’ve lost my will.

Extend My Bones

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 20, 2017

In Poems

Extend my bones – step after step
They serve me well for day or two
And while they do, I hold the map,
Extend my bones – is all I do.

Guide tired limbs – the rest’s ahead,
I know the way – always the same!
Path clearly marked deep in my head
I need but try my limbs to tame.

Restless and sick – yet walking still,
The body moves, follows my breath,
I guide it forth – will guide until
It is succumbed to certain death.

Extend my bones – is all I do.
I cannot stop, not till I die,
Once started I must follow through
Leave bones behind and start to fly.

Too Far Gone

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 18, 2017

In Poems

Something has to change,
Something has to give –
Is this world deranged
So hard to forgive?

Am I all alone? –
When I’m lost in thoughts,
Am I too far gone
From my own pure source?

I don’t know – too late!
Searching for an end,
I don’t contemplate,
Nor do I pretend

That all ends with death –
Has it any use?
Ending of my breath
Does not lead to Truth.

Thoughts

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 16, 2017

In Poems

I lay alone under a tree,
Feeling nostalgic and whatnot,
I thought of all I came to be –
Whether I’m cursed or blessed by God?

I thought the thoughts – some strange indeed!
“I think therefore I am” – Am I?
Were I to follow where they lead,
What comes of “me” when “my thoughts” die?

Or could it be that I’m asleep?
It seems so real, but would I know?
Often nightmares seem real indeed
Even when having strangest flow!

Such thoughts made sudden change in me,
I realized – I have no will!
The sky came down so suddenly,
And I woke up, in my room still.

How strange – my thoughts that were unreal,
Conceived beyond the thickest haze,
Brought new perception of surreal,
Helped to escape from wicked maze.

Now in my bed, as I lay still,
Nightmarish thoughts bring back the dream –
Voice in my head cries loud and shrill –
Opened my mouth, but could not scream!

The Dead

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 14, 2017

In Poems

The dead may sleep,
And so may I
The dead must keep
Tight shut their eye
While they pretend
That it’s a rest
To find one’s end
In death expressed.

Waiting until
The day I die
I struggle still
Living a lie.
Restless as all
Who wait for death
Under control
Of failing breath.

Love Making

By Anatoliy Schneider

On March 12, 2017

In Poems

Love making
In darkness
Enlighten
The flesh.

Flesh shaking
We harness
Our senses
Refreshed.

A body
Assumes role
Of junction –
How odd!

Extending
Love in soul
Is function
Of God.